Metta = Loving-Kindness
May all beings be at ease
I 100% agree with your “lessons from this” except “#2 Selfishness causes Suffering.” This one only gets 50% agreement.
Full disclosure: I’m not a fan of New Kadampa. I think they get key aspects of Buddhism very, very wrong and I worry that it’s a cult. I’m not saying it is a cult, but it sorta-kinda feels like one.
Selfishness does cause suffering but only in a very indirect way.
Everything changes
Suffering is caused by attachment to desires. Desire is normal: “I want cake!” Attachment to desire isn’t: “I won’t eat anything but cake!”
Things are constantly changing. Attachment is wishing that wasn’t true. You desire cake, you have cake and then you move on to the next thing. You don’t cling to the pleasure of cake and wish your whole life was as happy as you were when you were eating cake.
Does this sound like addiction? Yep, it does. When good things happen you smile. When bad things happen you cry. An addict insists that there never be bad things. ONLY happy things! Addiction is a failed attempt to make sure life is ONLY smiles. As you well know that’s a recipe for deep misery for you and everyone around you.
So when happy things happen, accept the fact that the happiness will not last forever, but enjoy it fully now. When bad things happen grieve them fully knowing that the grief or unhappiness will soften and retreat in time. Accept that that is how life is and experience both happiness and grief without clinging.
Selfishness and self-cherishing
Those are straight out of the New Kadampa playbook. When I first heard about them it confused the heck out of me. I’d never run across those concepts in Buddhism before.
The Metta (loving-kindness) meditation is an exercise in cherishing all sentient beings. That includes you. “All” being an all-inclusive word.
“May all sentient beings be happy, joyful, free, safe and healthy.”
Here is Jack Kornfield’s essay on Metta:
When you feel you have established some stronger sense of lovingkindness for yourself, you can then expand your meditation to include others.
That’s the Buddhism I’m more familiar with.
